I’m 16 and my sister is 22. I live with my dad and she lives with HER mom (who is not my mom, mine died). She only lived with us for a couple of months after she got pregnant at 16. She abandoned her baby and her parental rights were eventually terminated. My dad is raising her daughter. She’s been in and out of rehab but is still a heavy drug user.
Every couple of weeks she sends me an email or calls me with some disgusting news, like she’s had another miscarriage (for the best, because of the drug use) or some guy in a bar tried to rape her, or she wants to know if I can “lend” her money.
I don’t want to deal with her. She lives in a different state and I never see her, but it’s like she wants to be in touch with me even though I haven’t given her any reason to think I want to be in touch with her. I seriously don’t. She creeps me out and disgusts me.
I haven’t told my dad that she contacts me. I don’t want him to worry about me being influenced by her.
He WOULD worry… he’s constantly worried that I’ll turn out as bad as her even though I’m not an idiot.
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If she disgusts you that much I think you need to tell her to leave you alone until she sorts herself out. Tell her that you’re not happy with what she’s been doing etc and you’ll probably end up annoying her by saying it so she won’t contact you again.
If she ever gets a grip of herself, maybe you could build a relationship all over again, but until then… I wouldn’t bother.
Stop taking the calls and answering the emails. I assume she’s calling your cellphone or else by now your dad would know she’s calling the house. Block the number and/or screen your incoming calls.
It’s doubtful she would call your dad and complain that you aren’t taking her calls, but if she does do something like that, or he finds out some other way, you look good because you stopped the contact. Right now you are sneaking around behind his back with someone he seems to not want you to be in contact with. I would guess he’d be really unhappy to find out how long this has been going on.
Stop the contact, and tell your dad if she persists or does anything that makes you feel threatened. Most likely she will just stop.
she needs help and advice from family…………tell her you can’t give her money…….but you are willing to help her through a tough time by listening
Don’t answer her calls or e-mails and eventually she’ll get the hint. But you have to stick with it, if you even answer once then she’ll never leave you alone!
Mmm……. tricky one if you feel she bothers you change your email or phone number and just done have any contact with her……….. She is the only one that can change her life for the better ok ………. so you are not responsible for her If she chooses to live the way she is ……….. if she pulls you down Dont have nothing to do with her….. until she gets her self sorted out. and no dont give her an inch to take advance of the the caring person you are Things will change for the better for you ……….. cheers
dude whether she disgusts you or not that’s your sister. What you need to do is help her, not disown her. Drugs are a tricky tricky thing and when you are an abuser and someone disowns you it just makes it worse, especially when it’s your sister. What you need to do is when she calls you tell her she needs help in the form of rehab and counseling and possibly an intervention and offer your help. If she wants help then she’s gonna appreciate somebody caring enough about her to offer it. If she doesn’t want the help, eventually she’s gonna get sick of having you offer it and she’ll be the one to break off speaking to you then you won’t have to feel guilty cause trust me if you break it off eventually you will feel bad. More then likely she’s bringing up the miscarriages and rape attempts because she wants attention. If you don’t feed into this, and all you say is you need help let me help you, she’s not gonna write or call anymore. Addicts hate it when people want to “save” them when they don’t feel they need to be saved. Worse case scenario here, you help your sister which is what a good sister would do anyway. Hope this helps.
You’re 16. DO NOT get involved in this WOMAN’s problems. There is nothing you can do that hasn’t been done by people closer to her (like her mother, with whom she lives). There is nothing you can do, period. You can’t help her. You’ll just get sucked into her sickness. You don’t need this in your life. She may be your sister, but you had only brief contact with her when you were just 9-10 years old. This is NOT your responsibility.
Drop all contact immediately. I suggest telling your dad she has been in touch and that what she’s told you has disturbed you a lot. He will appreciate knowing. Parents hate lying and sneaking around, because they need all the info they can get in order to protect you from things you can’t protect yourself from. Your drug addict sister is one of the things you need to be protected against.